To the Eye of the Storm

Hey Blog,

This week has been another week of chaos, and has left me with little time to really breath and recover from things. It seems every time I turn around, or set myself down to rest there is another thing that pops up and slaps me in the face. I haven't been sleeping well... and I haven't been able to recover from a wrecked sleep schedule, which has effected my school as well in the worst possible way. My professor shows more disappointment in me everyday, and it hurts to feel so pathetic. It seems like every time I go up a stone on this mountain, it gets taller and taller. Every time the peak seems so at hand and I will finally get a moment to take a breath, it disappears in the fog.

I'm tired, I feel so at the bottom, and I am full of anguish it's bearing down on me. Seriously, it's hell in a hand-basket. I mean, I've got so much clarity as to what is going on, but I've never felt so damned lost in my life. I've felt lost before, but this goes beyond anything that's ever happened in the past. I am drifting in the storm, and am unsure whether I should sail out of it... or if I should continue inside hoping the eye will show me my fate. It's frightening, and the world is upside down.

This feeling, that there's no air, is kicking my butt. I just want to have a moment of rest but it's no where at all. Ugh, I'm so tired... I just want to sleep but I'm afraid to. What the hell Blog? What the hell?

Save me, please? Or.... tranquilize me or something.

Till then, I'll drift for awhile and see where the storm will take me. If it doesn't consume me first....